This is the new me, dig?

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The short, happy life of an attention deficient novelist

Yes, I am making good progress on my next novel. The first one, incidentally, was written (mostly on duty) when I was working as a professional in the security of cultural property — and I wrote it longhand, in notebooks. This current creature is being composed on a unibody MacBook, and I’ve noticed something: as I write, I am constantly referencing Wikipedia. The following is a list (in order of appearance) of tabs in my web browser.

Saratov (Russian: Ru-Saratov.ogg Сара́тов (help·info)) is a major city in southern Russia. It is the administrative center of Saratov Oblast and a major port on the Volga River. Population: 873,055 (2002 Census);[1] 904,643 (1989 Census).[2] In addition to ethnic Russians, the city also has many Tatar, Ukrainian, Jewish and German residents.

The Notre-Dame Affair was an intervention performed by members of the radical wing of the Lettrist movement (Michel Mourre, Serge Berna, Ghislain Desnoyers de Marbaix and Jean Rullier), on Easter Sunday, April 9, 1950, at Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris. Michel Mourre, dressed in the habit of a Dominican monk and backed by his co-conspirators, chose a quiet moment in the Easter High Mass to climb to the rostrum and declaim before the whole congregation a blasphemous anti-sermon on the death of God, penned by Serge Berna.[1][2][3]

Determinism is the philosophical proposition that every event, including human cognition and behavior, decision and action, is causally determined by an unbroken chain of prior occurrences.[1] With numerous historical debates, many varieties and philosophical positions on the subject of determinism exist from traditions throughout the world.

Oxycodone is an opioid analgesic medication synthesized from opium-derived thebaine. It was developed in 1916 in Germany, as one of several new semi-synthetic opioids with several benefits over the older traditional opiates and opioids; morphine, diacetylmorphine (heroin) and codeine.

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Barbary Shore

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Have you checked out BarbaryShore.com? The website of an august local publisher called, well, Barbary Shore, this is your one stop shop for books by local authors — including the writing of Vincent Scotti Eirene, Jesse Hicks, Matt Stroud, and yours truly. What are you waiting for?

Filed under: books

JG BALLARD: November 15, 1930 – April 19, 2009

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JG Ballard was born in the International Settlement in Shanghai prior to World War II, received some of his earliest education in Japanese prison camps, and eventually traveled through space and time to conduct violent autopsies of the Western psyche through an uncompromising form of science fiction. Best known for Crash, the Drowned World, and Empire of the Sun, he had been fighting prostate cancer since 2006. He was 79 years old.

Check out a short interview with the man after the break.

[Via NME]

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Who’s afraid of Barack Obama?

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I have a pretty casual relationship with Jonathan Phillips over at Reality Sandwich. He’s extremely hands-off as far as editors go, something which I appreciate. I can generally trust him to make minor edits to these little news items I post on the site from time to time, since I don’t really want to be bothered with okaying every little edit. Unfortunately, he really hacked up the last thing I wrote for him, an item about Alex Jones’s “documentary,” The Obama Deception. Which is a shame, because the whole thing read much better and made more sense the way I presented it.

Initially, the first line of this review was to read, “Everybody knows that Alex Jones is full of shit,” but I assumed that wouldn’t fly with the kids in the New York office. Also, I originally wished to point out the beautiful simplicity in the old religious formulation commonly expressed as: “God is Love. Love is blind. Therefore, Ray Charles is God.” This, unfortunately, was excised due to space constraints.

In the weeks since this review was written, three police officers were tragically murdered here in Pittsburgh by a “white power” type, and for a time, Alex Jones was implicated by some members of the local and national media. It seems as though they both tread in different ends of the “conspiracy milieu,” and in the narrow minded view of mainstream media that was enough to indicate a cause and effect relationship. It’s highly unfair and more than a little irresponsible to connect a madman’s violent outburst with the work of a radio talk show host half a continent away (especially on less than no evidence at all), so it looks like someone owes Jones an apology.

In one of his books, Adam Parfrey writes of the fine American tradition of the “folk researcher,” the type of person with “the audacity to consider themselves their own best authority, in repudiation or ignorance of the orthodoxy factories” of the universities, the State, and the media. Not only is the urge to rebel a fundamental part of the American character, but I’d argue that the ability to “think for yourself and question authority,” as Tim Leary used to put it, is an essential skill in these times of climate change, economic upheaval, and accelerating technology.

It was with all this in mind that I watched Alex Jones’s documentary The Obama Deception the other night. Jones is one of a long line of home grown conspiracy researchers, from Mae Brussell through William Cooper — with whom he shares a gravelly voice and the firm conviction that all of the world’s problems can be blamed on a multinational cabal of Satanists. You have to give these guys credit: they are grassroots historians and media critics, expending heroic amounts of time and effort into the search for a truth that just cannot be found in the mainstream of American society. Still, as a whole, these types generally turn me off: the “conspiracy” crowd has always been far too cultish, too sectarian. Their literature rarely evinces the sort of nuanced thinking or essential humor of Robert Anton Wilson, for example.

I enthusiastically watched the movie, and I really wanted it to be successful. The central argument is, indeed, one that I agree with: That the corporations are corrupt, that in order to become President of the United States one has to be in bed with the corporations, and therefore any President — even one with the charm and intelligence of President Barack H. Obama — is to be watched very closely, if indeed they are to be trusted at all.

But if Americans need a fair appraisal of their President and the dangers facing the world as we move headlong into the year 2012, they are not going to find it here. The film is more of an expressionistic mood piece than a documentary, using dislocated soundbites, montage, and ominous music to scare the bejeezus out of you, without relaying any useful information at all. Unless, of course, you consider the “fact” that humans haven’t (and cannot) cause global warming to be “information.” In which case, you might want to check out the YouTube video that proves that President Obama and Osama bin Laden are the same person.

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Happy Birthday, Ray!

Ray Goulding (b. March 20, 1922 – d. March 24, 1990) was an American comedian and one half of Bob and Ray. He was born in Lowell, Massachusetts — a little over a week after the birth of that other famous comedian and son of Lowell, Jack Kerouac. Historians are unsure who’s work evinced more pathos, but they are quite clear on which one lived longer.

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Happy Birthday Norman, You’re Still the Champ.

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My introduction to Norman Mailer was The Time of Our Time, the anthology of his work published on the fiftieth anniversary of his first book, The Naked and The Dead. Time was like one of the old Audubon bird books, a full color catalog of one man’s ecosystem. This guy rough handled the 20th century much in the same way Didion did, except at the end of the day no one really wants to have a beer with Joan Didion.

Mailer was large; so large, in fact, that he somtimes contradicted himself — he contained multitudes, in the words of Mr. Leaves of Grass. He made “mistakes,” committed artistic crimes that were obvious to everyone but himself. He made boring / compelling films, committed existential violence that on occasion spilled over into very real violence, and he said silly things about feminism. And in the end, this is why Mailer matters — he was an excessively honest writer, and when you’re being honest you can’t always be appealing.

One reaches a point where they must choose between commercial appeal and what they feel — and I don’t think Mailer ever seriously considered anyone but himself when it came time to put pen to paper. And this is evident in his work: his books are flawed, but they’re masterpieces, and even when they’re terrible they’re compelling. And this is why he’s still the champ.

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LENgadet: Smile scanner — for the Orwellian service industry employer

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As most of you undoubtedly don’t care, my life lately has been devoted to a loving mistress and superlative technology blog called Engadget. This is a post that I wrote today only to find out that it was already covered — in April. Not exactly news anymore, is it? Still, it’s fun, so I though I’d share it with the 3.2 visitors I get to this site each and every month.

Smile detection for your camera is one thing — but if you’re in the "smiling business," as they say, you’d better have some high tech kit to keep your employees in line. At least that’s what the digital imaging folks over at Omron think — the company has just debuted its "Smile degree real time scanning sensor," a system that uses a small video camera to capture a person’s face — after that it’s a small matter of rendering it in 3D and determining whether you’re smiling "enough." Perfect gear for service industries, or any organization that wants to regiment and control every aspect of your life — including the way your mouth is hangin’. Now wipe that stupid smile off your face and get back to work!

Read: Real time scanning smile smile once scanner

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GALLERY: The art of Celebrity Rehab

A semi-regular look at the heartache and pain of self-serious celebrities. Is there anything more annoying than a Baldwin Busey in rehab?

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When the gang in Season Two go to art therapy, we are surprised to learn that our celebrity rehabistas are angry, fucked up people with lots of issues stemming from their childhood — hurt feelings that they mask with drugs and alcohol.

My man Sean Stewart — son of ‘Rod the Bod’ (see above) — knows a lot about taking heroin but, sadly, never learned to spell the word.

Click ahead past the break for some more Celebrity Rehab ‘art.’

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Lessons from Celebrity Rehab: Season 1, Episode 2

A semi-regular look at the heartache and pain of self-serious celebrities. Is there anything more annoying than a Baldwin in rehab?

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You know, it occurs to me as I watch this ex-American Idol freak out on her first day of clean (reality TV) livin’ that I need a new land line. Something like the one above. Where do you even find a rotary dial phone anymore?

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It’s Inauguration Day

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… and you know what that means! Inauguration Day specials for all of you Beltway “johns.” There’s no taxation without representation for these patriotic escorts.

[Read: "Washington, DC craigslist, erotic services, inauguration"]

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About Me.



Lenny Flatley is not a Wiccan, a Scientologist or a registered Democrat. He will never finish his long promised account of the six months he spent on the Womens PGA Tour (for liability reasons). He is currently listening to the song "Words" by Doves. If you must contact him, he prefers that you do it on myspace.

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Greatest Hits

I wrote this stuff!

The Art Heist Gag Gang
Former Attorney General Ramsey Clark's introduction to my new novel, The Art Heist Gag Gang.

Des Preuves Écrites (The Written Evidence)
A short story about alienation, existentialism and antidisestablishmentarianism (no, not really).

An Interpretation of Timothy Leary
Timothy Leary, Aleister Crowley, thoughts on the Greenfield book.

Superman, You Sad Eyed Dinosaur
What do our heroes say about ourselves?

Tutti Frutti
Little Richard, post war cultural revolutionary!

Beyond the Wall of Sleep.
H. P. Lovecraft, an abandoned asylum, and me.

“To the Sirens first shalt thou come…”
This country will give you a war if you want it, and it will give you all the consumer benefits of a system that creates war, if you want it, while keeping the war itself safely stashed away. And if you’re not satisfied, you can always get a lap dance.

Hot Stuff

My space on Myspace.

...and on You Tube.

My face on Facebook.

My personal LibraryThing.

JesseHicks.com if you can believe there's such a thing!

My Mate Josh

Dave, you jerk!

I love you, Laura June. Really. You're the best. Don't ever change. Ciao.

My dead friend Bob Anton Wilson has his own blog now.